We are in week 10

I can't believe it's been over a month since I've had time to get back here.  I've done a lot of things in my 51 years, but I have to say that this ranks up there with the hardest experiences in my life.  When I first started and I got to wear my scrubs to my first lab I was excited, confident and prepared and now I have gotten to the point where I almost dread Tuesdays.  They are long, and full of anxiety.  I have not doubted myself the way I do now in a long time, and I don't like it.  Most of us in the class are either ticked off or on the verge of tears all the time. It is just SO MUCH and the pressure of that stupid "80" just sits there like a buzzard constantly circling over it's prey.  Unfortunately we have all come to the realization that our straight A's have seen their end and now we just pray for anything over an 80.  We are losing people already, some are not that surprising, but one in particular has been a shock.  I guess it just goes to show that book smarts aren't all that you need to be successful.  This week we face a major test and our mid-term demonstration.  We have to score at least an 80% proficiency on that or we cannot go to the nursing home and this grade determines 45% of our final grade, so no pressure, you know????  I think I'm going to be okay, but I am so dizzy from this medication I am on that I hope I can hold it together.  Medication, you say?  Oh yeah, that's something you don't know about.  After my injections demonstration two weeks ago in which I was shaking like a leaf during, sweat rolling down my face because of hot flashes and stress and my BP shot up to 160/78, I determined that I am powerless against this stressor in my life and I went to the doctor and asked for meds to help me.  They have driven me to drugs now!!!!  I sure hope these suckers kick in before I have to do my demo on Tuesday.
If however I can score in the 90's for my test on Monday, I'll be half done with the testing for that class (I completed my Nur 100 class and passed that one by the way because I scored high on the last two test)  and if I can get through my demo on Tuesday, I'll feel pretty good about making it.  There are 6 weeks left to go and I'm still here as of right now.
Back to the books and another update will be forthcoming as soon as I can get around to it.  Wish me luck and better yet, pray for me!