I am so mad at myself! I am soooooo into this and loving the learning process. I have great study habits and good test strategies, but I am making some really dumb errors. I took my first drug dose calculations test yesterday and walked out of the room so happy. I was smiling knowing I had totally aced the test. Then I got home after volunteering in the ED last night, logged in to see my grade and, "OH MY GOD, how in the world did I get a 78?" After reviewing it in my mind I thought, did I forget to do an entire page, so I write my teacher and guess what....I FORGOT TO DO AN ENTIRE FREAKING PAGE! My dumb ass didn't look back over the test because I was so worried I was going to be tempted to change an answer that I just turned it in. I have never done that before (and I'm sure I'll never do it again), but DAMN! I pissed away the opportunity to get a 100!
It seems every time I have to do return demonstrations or when I have to show what I know, I do something to undermine my success and I am just so mad at myself. I am a better student than this and I have way more potential than I am showing.
My question for myself is this, "Why am I letting the people who always told me that I wasn't smart win?" I know better now. Isn't it just awful how negative self talk can hurt you? I have always believed that the only person who limits you is you. If this is the case, why am I letting myself lose and win at the same time? I have got to get a handle on this right now because there are no do overs. One more dumb move like that and I could be out of it for good. I think I may have to get some Xanax!
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